Each day without hearing anything is interminable. I hear he is sober but he doesn't contact me. It hurts so much the co-dependent in me, that maybe I am not his saviour. I know this relationship is not entirely healthy for each of us. But we fit, I love him. I have to let go but its hard ripping out all those little fish hooks in my heart one by one. If this truly is over - sometimes it seems so, then my hopes arise- I have to get used to solitude. I can't face more endings, not for a very long time.
The dogs are confused and I dread him trying to take them- he isn't responsible enough- but I will struggle to look after them properly alone, whilst working.
Why did he need to fuck it all up again ? What was he trying to avoid or force ?
What a shit birthday.