Ah I have neglected my writing for two months due to the uncommonly good weather and company. I'm afraid my potatoes, onions, cabbages, rhubarb, leeks, beans et al have been vying for my attention, as has salmon & saute potatoes fried on a fire beside a glass calm lake, watching ferrets and a terrier work together to catch rabbits, introducing a couple of cockerels in with the chickens, and a brief but lovely trip to Barcelona & Tarragona.
The poacher and I are thick as thieves and building up the allotment empire..he has many plans ..Harris Hawks, bike restorations, foraging recipes...I didn't get onto the MA course which briefly knocked me back and had me blaming my flat vowels and shit education.....who knows why..but I need a plan B.....
I need to write ..but do I need anyone to teach me how ?
The story I submitted as part of the MA application was recently published ...so maybe I could save myself the cash and bullshit.....
I actually got a partial repayment of debts from the actor...but the cheque was accompanied by a truly delusional piece of sanctimonious crap.....and he refuses to return the camera !
I have tried to be forgiving and generous but as time passes my anger towards him and my clarity of vision of just what he did hardens . It will be an unlucky day for him should he ever cross my path again.
I missed my blog. I have become a little too dependent on another ..which is never wise..I have thought much about the wisdom of this relationship and already shown my insecurity to him.
This is why I curse the actor..for fostering in me this inability to trust.
Childish and self defeating as it may seem I really hope he is reaping all that he has shown in his shallow, selfish, calculating, self absorbed life up to now.
I must go for now.....naked typing in the garden listening to the myriad of tweeting birds is idyllic but I have mouching to do with the poacher...we have a half erected greenhouse made entirely from bits of old windows and stuff..and need a few more bits to finish it off and house my tomatoes.
It's good to be back....many photos to upload!